Helping You Find Custom Resolutions
To The Toughest Legal Challenges

Divorce And The Four D’s Of Narcissism

Anyone who has gone through a divorce with a narcissist would be the first to tell you that it’s not easy. Awareness regarding narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has increased, and more and more people are realizing that their spouses have narcissistic tendencies. Narcissists can do a lot of damage to the marriage relationship. At Gill Law Group, PC, our Orange County divorce attorneys have 80 combined years of experience. In their years of practice, they have identified the four D’s of narcissism.

Deny: Narcissists Deny Anything That Makes Them Look Bad

When someone with NPD is called out for their own behavior or faced with criticism, they are not capable of seeing how their actions contribute negatively to a situation. Their first instinct when confronted with anything negative regarding their own actions and behavior is to outright deny that it ever happened. This is one reason why it is important to write everything down and communicate in writing whenever possible when navigating a divorce with a narcissist.

Dismiss: When Denial Isn’t An Option, Narcissists Turn To Dismissal

When a narcissist cannot deny something, they will try to dismiss it instead. For example, if you are trying to have a conversation about how you feel, a narcissist will naturally dismiss those feelings and minimize the situation. This also happens frequently with money in a relationship with a narcissist. For example, they might spend money frivolously on something that they want for themselves. But when you point out that they spent money that needed to go for something important, they will accuse you of overreacting.

Devalue: Narcissists Tend To Put Down And Devalue Anyone Who Shines Brighter Than Them

One of the characteristics of NPD is low self-esteem, which hides behind an arrogant but fragile public image. A spouse with NPD often has a shaky self-esteem. Historically, they tend to devalue their spouse as much as possible, especially if their spouse is getting attention or success. A narcissist will devalue their spouse by talking down to them and infusing them with doubt in themselves and their own abilities. Usually, this happens slowly over time and is considered a form of emotional abuse. Ultimately, the abused spouse learns to doubt themselves and feels less valuable in the relationship.

Divorce: Often, The Only Option To Escape A Narcissistic Spouse Is To Divorce

It can be very difficult to overcome NPD. Those identified as narcissists or who have narcissistic tendencies do not have the capacity to see their own behaviors or comprehend how their behavior negatively affects others, so they often remain stuck in their narcissistic patterns and behaviors without much of a chance to overcome their disorder. Oftentimes, the only way to escape a spouse with NPD is to seek a divorce. After years of narcissistic emotional abuse, it is normal for the abused spouse to feel guilty for wanting to leave or get divorced. But no one deserves to live a life of marital abuse. Our Orange County divorce attorneys can help you take the next steps and will prepare to protect your rights and the rights of your children if your divorce is contentious and contested.

Contemplating Divorce? Call For A Free Consultation

At Gill Law Group, PC, we offer a free consultation appointment. You can schedule a consultation by sending an email through our website or calling 949-868-5268.