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Telling Your Kids About Divorce

Unhappy family

Next to making the difficult choice to split up with your spouse, the hardest part may be having to tell your kids. While you and your spouse may not have made this decision easily, it is presumably for the best interests of your family, but your kids may not understand that.

A divorce is never easy on any party involved, and your children may take it even worse. We at Gill Law Group are here to help you tell your kids about your divorce in the best way possible.

1. Tell Your Kids Together

It’s important that you and your spouse present a united front when announcing your divorce. Though it may be hard to be a team at the moment, putting away feelings of bitterness and animosity will be best for your children. Kids need to know that their parents can continue to work together in raising them.

2. Plan What to Say Ahead of Time

A conversation as important as this one should not be improvised. Set some ground rules, agree on what you will both say, and how you will go about it. We also recommend going over key talking points. Some examples include:

  • “You know that Mom and Dad have been having problems. We've tried to fix this, but things aren't working out.”

  • “We both love you very much. Nothing will ever change that love or the fact that we will always be here for you.”

  • “You are great kids. It is not your fault that we are splitting up.”

  • “Even though things are going to change, we will always be a family.”

Expect questions from your kids about how their lives will be affected too and be prepared to have answers. It’s okay if you do not have an answer prepared, just be as honest as possible while considering their feelings.

3. Offer Support

This conversation will be one that your kids never forget and it will be tough on them, but you can help them cope with it. Set aside time to speak with each child separately and let them know you are still there for them no matter what happens. If they’re unwilling to open up with you at that moment, let a trusted confidant know about the situation. It may be a teacher, babysitter, or grandparent but they can help keep an eye out on your loved ones.

If you have decided to get a divorce, our Orange County divorce lawyers are here to help you through this process every step of the way. Contact the Gill Law Group at (888) 392-1941 to begin your free consultation today.